It had been three week since my birthday, since I relapsed, since Ace had decided to bring that skank home with him. He’d made a witty remark the morning after all that happened. Some fucking lame shit.. As ya can tell, he’s not in my good books. I’ve given him the silent treatment pretty much for the past 3 weeks. He knows what he did. I know because the fuckers not asked me what’s up.
I kept using, waiting for Ace to leave each day so Benny could come over with the junk, I should been more careful about it all though because at that moment I felt a hand grab my arm.
ACE : What the FUCK?!
He darted in front of me keeping a firm grip on my arm.
ACE: Are you using again Luna?!
He gestured at the needle tracks on my arm. BUSTED,
LUNA: Fuck! Yes I’m using again Ace! You happy now ? You got my confession.
LUNA: No Ace. This is your fault! I wouldn’t have even thought of it if it wasn’t for you.
I snatched my arm back. Fuck it. Fuck Ace.
ACE: What?! How? How the FUCK is this on me?!
LUNA: WELL… Maybe if FOR ONCE in your life you weren’t a selfish BASTARD. y’know Ace. Fuck YOU. Why do you do this?! Every time!! Every time WE could ACTUALLY work you fuck it up!
Do you fucking know how much I love you? Do you.
I cut him off before he could speak.
LUNA: I wanna be the girl with the most cake!! Ace! I don’t know what shit I did but every time i feel like I’m gonna be happy, it gets thrown back in my face! EVERY TIME! What the fuck did i do?! All I want is you ! A fucking family! A nice ass life with no worries, I want to be happy Ace!
Ace: Luna don’t you fucking get it!? You can do way better than me! I’m nothing!
I saw red, How could he be so damn stupid. Before I even knew what had happened I felt my hand throbbing..
I’d punched him? Fuck. Guilt flooded over me and I turned away. Why the fuck did I do that! ugh Luna you’re a fucking idiot.
Ace: You hurt ya hand didn’t you dickhead.
I felt his fingers stroking my back. I started to cry as he pulled me into a hug.
He kissed my forehead. My legs turned to jelly. He held me tight on the floor.
ACE: She will help. It’ll be just like last time okay?
~~4 YEARS AGO~~
SIDNEY GOTH/ ACE MESSINA.POV.
I’m smarter than I act or look, But i should know to not make promises if i’m not sure i can keep ’em.
I didn’t get to see her for a week. Man I felt like an asshole.I made a fucking promise to her! I’d see her the day after my mom kicked her out. I guess she heard me because my bike got locked in the shed ASAP after that and she watched me like a hawk. I couldn’t move without her breathing down my neck. I got my chance a week later; I made a run for it. It took me a full day to get to the city by foot. I was exhausted. Then I saw her…Lying in the snow.
I shouted her name and she didn’t even move.
Fuck.FUCK! I ran over to check her pulse, she was alive.. Just.
ACE: Luna ?! Luna?!
I’d been taught first aid at boarding school, trying to calm myself I tried to resuscitate her. It wasn’t working.. UGH!
I had no other option, I called my mother.
CECILIA: SIDNEY! Where are you? I’m worried sick!
I explained everything to her. My Mom was a bitch. But she had a heart.
I picked Luna up, as I saw my mothers car pull up. She was cold. Freezing actually. Soaking wet from the snow.
ACE:PLEASE! SHE NEEDS HELP LADY!
I screamed at the lady on the front desk of the hospital. Luna was over my shoulder and she was soon taken away by the doctors.
I was told to sit down in the waiting room.
ACE: She OD’d mom.
CECILIA: She’ll be fine, Sidney. Panicking won’t help her….You care about her don’t you?
ACE: Of course I do
They’d given her a shot of adrenaline, but they needed to keep her in for observation for a while. A while turned out to be weeks and i spent the whole time by her side. Doctor Dozier told me she was lucky not to be in a coma. So the small conversations i’d have with her meant even more .
I never left her side. Nurse Savhannah was nice enough to bring me food when the patients ate, I guess the staff got the memo I wasn’t leaving her.
They’d started weening her off of heroin by giving her a prescription of methadone. I guess in a way her overdosing was good for her.
About a month later she was released, I had to leave while the doctors did a final consultation with her, Dr. Richard was good to her y’know…
When Luna jumped into my arms in the waiting room it felt amazing. I can honestly say its one of my happiest memories..
CECILIA: .. Luna? Come sit with me a moment.
She gestured at the space next to her.
Ugh. What did this bitch want? why the fuck was she here? I prepared myself for the “keep away from my son” speech.
CECILIA: I apologise for how I acted towards you. I’m a very proud woman, and sometimes I let that pride get in my way.
I was stunned. An apology? what the fuck?!
CECILIA: I want to help you Luna. Come back with us if you want to. I see a bright young girl in you and you don’t need heroin. So, I’d very much like to help you.
Why was she being so nice.. Last time i saw this bitch she was screaming about me being a junkie. Its like she had a personality transplant. Did I die and wake up in a dream what the hell. I hesitated for a while.
Luna: Thankyou.. Thankyou so much that’s real nice of ya.
Ace had barely been home since the argument, he’d been rushing about talking to his mom, we both knew going cold turkey was a bad idea at the moment so i kept Benny coming. I tried to not get carried away. It kinda helped that I’d been perma-tired all week, my boobs were swollen.. I figured i was due on. Today however; I woke up with a banging head ache, followed by throwing up.
THAT wasn’t usually what happened when I was due on. In the bathroom I saw the box of condoms.. I hadn’t used one on my birthday night! FUCK! I rushed back to my bedroom,
at first i was relieved there was no bump…
Oh for fucks sake Luna its only been 4 week of course there’s no bump.
I ran out to the shop and came back with a pregnancy test.
Luna: only one way to find out.
I sighed as I waited nervously for the small pink lines to form.
FUCK! NO! I threw the test to the ground.
I got up; checking myself in the mirror, I can’t be a mom. Not yet, i mean what kinda mother would I even be?! I don’t know how to be a mom. I grunted in frustration.
Guilt spread over me, I’ve been fucking using all this time. I fell to the floor, i’m a fucking monster. How do I even tell Ace?! I’m such a fuck up!
FUCK! Why did he have to come home now.
I was frozen. Like a deer in the headlights.
I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
Cecila: Luna are you okay darling?
FUCK ! She was here too!
inspiration song- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeObu0jfSxE