What other guy can say, that they went to a strip club with their sister? AND shes a fucking amazing wingman.
Every few days I’d speak to Blaze on the phone. We’d chat, the usual sibling banter. One day not long after the kids were born i finally broke and told Blaze everything.
Blaze; “Hey D, congrats on the new arrivals, you and Donnatella must be so happy! I’m proud of you bro, sounds like you’re finally getting settled, sorry i haven’t been by in a while, some big corporation bastards have been trying to knock down a historical building to build some shitty duplex. Its been hectic! ”
Dorian: “Yeah… real settled. couldn’t be happier sis”
You see, Blaze can read me like a book. So she knew me enough to know i was straight out lying to her. I’ve never been able to lie to Blaze.
Blaze: ” I take it back, you aren’t settled are you? what happened you seemed so happy together? is it the kid thing?”
Dorian: NO! its not the kid thing.. these kids aren’t half bad. They barely cry its perfect. its just…”
Dorian: ” Look, i never wanted to marry Donnatella OK”
Blaze: ” Dorian its not like you to do anything you don’t want to … what happened? tell me, I’m your fucking big sister.”
Dorian: ” I was kinda forced into it….”
Blaze: “By Donnatella? ” Her voice filled with anger. “WHAT THE FUCK, I’ve got a right mind to come over there and give her a fucki-”
i interrupted her,
Dorian: “It was Sal!”
Blaze: “Sal, well why did he do it? i understand why you did it now, you don’t say no to the mafia ”
I have honestly never been so confused in my life.
Dorian: How the fuck did you know that?
Blaze: I know i hit the bong a lot D, but I’m not a fucking idiot. Anyone with a brain can tell. Sal looked like he’d walked straight out of the godfather movies, and i can’t even begin to tell you how many times some goon of his has tried to stop a protest.
Dorian: How much do you know Blaze?
Blaze: Lets just say that working in politics, I know who’s paying the wages of some of the people up the ladder. Funny enough, the guy paying has had a name change. Seems like you’ve moved up in the world bro.
I’d always assumed Blaze knew nothing. pretty stupid really. I underestimated her i figured if everyone else bought the restaurant/ successful businessman story, she would too. I didn’t calculate that Blaze isn’t everyone else. She always was smarter than me.
Dorian: I don’t want to talk about this over the phone, lets meet up.
And that’s how I ended up at Frankie fusillis strip joint ‘ the wildcard’, the place wasn’t too bad and it had the the thing Blaze and I had most in common. Women. We had a few laughs took some photos, then we sat and spoke.
Dorian: how long have you known about me?
Blaze: D, I’ve known about it since we were teens when Sal took you on as an apprentice, you started dressing sharper. You got a restaurant out of thin air, and I had Donnie phoning me all the time telling me you were a psycho. THE BIG GIVEAWAY was when you went to prison, y’know businessmen don’t usually go and give well known, news worthy members of the mafia a broken skull. You went all Al Capone on a guy and you didn’t think.. hmm this looks suspicious?
She was so damn sarcastic. I laughed but never answered her. I didn’t need to.
Blaze: You know D, it wouldn’t hurt to chill out, I know you’ve been snorting coke, your eyes give it away. You have kids now, you don’t want to end up doing something you regret because you can’t control your anger. It comes to something when i had to tell Donnie to leave those instruments, you’re the kinda guy who would snap someones neck for breathing the wrong way. Its not a good thing Dorian.
I worry about you.
Her tone was a lot more serious, I understood what she was saying, but i didn’t like it.
Blaze: what? ..
I’d hurt her, good, she needed to learn her place.
Dorian: Go fuck yourself Blaze. You aren’t mom. and you don’t know me at all anymore! You don’t know what i do. What I’ve done or whats best for ME. Don’t you dare patronize me or make out like I’m not a good person. I know whats best for MY kids, i know whats best for my LIFE. and i know whats best for ME. so if you don’t like it Blaze you can go join Donnie and fuck off too.
Maybe you should pay less attention to my life and focus on your own.
Blaze: If that’s how you’re gonna be Dorian, i don’t want to be around you. We’ll talk when you’ve calmed down. You know, i wish i could say you’ve changed, that you’ve turned into a monster. But you’ve always been a monster Dorian. Even when we were kids. I’ll always love you, but you are a fucking monster. Mum and dad would cry if they knew what you were really like.
She left without another word.
I took my drink upstairs to the dance floor.
I was pissed. Her words reminded me of what Donnie had said to me that night years ago.
I’m a monster? I’ll show her a monster. I’ll show everyone a monster.